Wednesday Afternoon: Order stereo receiver off Amazon. Description says “Like New” – Sweet!
Wednesday Evening: Finally make plans to meet up with woman you have been talking with online for several weeks! Excited!
Friday Morning: Stereo receiver shows up. Buttons missing, scratches and dents, it makes an awful racket and it’s brand name is “Sonny” – What!!?
Friday Evening: “Holly” showed up late, looked nothing like her picture, her top was missing buttons and it said “Juicy” across her bum. Cripse.
Nowadays, it’s swipe swipe swipe and you’re in or out and long forgotten. There was a time for many of us before the internet, when dinosaurs still strolled about when we had to meet people the old fashioned way. All liquored up at the pub. Kidding. But people used to meet and get to know each other. It wasn’t just based on a wallet sized picture on a blue screen phone, all at the mercy of a greasy fingertip deeming you worthy of their company. Or not.
There was a time, a simpler time, certainly not by technological standards, but simplistic in it’s easy and beauty. You would meet at work, in the grocery store or laundromat, in college, maybe you were set up by friends. People talked to each other and it was nice. We weren’t distracted by a phone beeping and buzzing every few seconds and we weren’t bored or in a hurry. We got to know each other through each other.
I do think online dating in a very discreet, sophisticated way to meet other people for those of us with social anxieties and just ‘not into a bar scene’ mentality. It really isn’t far off from Amazon shopping. You can sit casually in your juicy sweatpants, sipping your glass of wine and clicking through profiles. You can shop around for the exact items you like…sometimes with the free 2 day shipping.
Compare to other items, see backgrounds, and tick them off your own checklist. It is handy and I know plenty of people who have met their mates this way. Kids, age, occupations, maybe you don’t care about such things. It’s likely best if your checklist isn’t too long, as you may be limiting yourself to some otherwise great people.
I always liked that aspect of online shopping … err … dating.
The first rule to remember is that people lie. If you go in with that in mind, you will not be quite so disappointed when Johnny Depp look-alike turns up looking more like Johnny Rotten.
You start with your age group you want and work from there. It’s fun to see people’s profiles and read their bios. ‘Divorced dad of two teens, loves to cook, travel, his own business, etc’ Oooh! Add to cart!
Then you might poke or wink or whatever the site you’re using to start a dialogue. I found people started to get a bit more honest once we crossed into the checkout line. ‘Just looking for an occasional dinner and a shag’, or drumroll ‘Looking for marriage’. It’s great because you can be honest as well. It might be shocking for you but it’s better to get these things out in the open before you make plans to meet. Looking forward to an evening out to find out you have nothing in common and have nothing to talk about just wastes your time.
My best advice would be:
Keep an open mind. It’s different for people once they have been around a block or two.
Also, be honest but not overly honest. ‘Crushed by divorce, living in brother’s basement, drowning in debt…want to meet for coffee?’
Frankly, we don’t care if you have gained weight or are balding or have a wonky eye I promise that mature people will see past all of that. We need to be comfortable in our own skin and in our own lives in order to let someone in, so honesty is a great place to start.
If they do care then swipe them right back into the shallow end of the dating pool, feels at times like 4 feet deep and sometimes a vast ocean of daily specials.