In these times of social networking, dating has become a hard thing to start off and maintain. Instead of being more connected, as social media offers such benefits, we have started to grow apart. That is really sad, especially if you’re trying to find somebody to love. But once you start dating, there are several things people tend to do and one of them is to come up with lame excuses that help you stay in the comfort of your home. Many dates do not often proceed because a partner has decided not to arrive because they feel they are busy. This is a bad excuse and for me, I feel that if a partner brings that on, it means he or she is not in love. The other partner should just look for another love somewhere if he or she can find it. The bad thing about excuses is that you think you have the right to say that you’re busy and you expect for your partner to fully understand you and act like you haven’t ditched them before. Well, that is kind of delusional. What you really have to understand is that everybody appreciates their time, so saying that you are busy and not explaining more is just rude.
Leave your excuses at home – dating just got more serious
The thing is – if you’re not ready to date, then you shouldn’t waste your partner’s time. Everybody risks something in their life in order to create the ideal balance, so a good arrangement of your priorities is important. Whenever you say that you’re busy, yet you’re still interested in dating a particular girl/guy, then have in mind the following things:
- Anytime there is a lack of texting there’s always an expected “I’ve been busy” response.
Things like this can easily get predictable. Therefore, it is better to come up with a more creative answer, or at least explain what you have been busy with. Just saying that you’ve been busy seems like you don’t have time for your partner, which leaves them wondering what exactly you have been doing. Trust me, it is not joyful for them to learn that you’ve been busy scrolling on Instagram rather than texting them back. - If you had 30 minutes to collect a $2 million lottery or meet your favorite celebrity all of the sudden busy is not an excuse.
Just as I said before – you have to rearrange your priorities. And it is always better when your partner knows that, for example, family comes first. But do not use excuses if you’re not going to stay with what you have said. For example, if your partner invites you for dinner – you will probably be busy. But if your partner invites you to a dinner with your favorite local singer, then you’ll be the first one to show up and the last to leave. - It’s best to address what you have been busy with and reaffirm that you are still interested in the person. Simply saying “Just been busy” seems very dismissive.
Always say what you’re busy with, even if you don’t feel like it. When it comes to personal stuff or something you don’t want to share, then you don’t have to say anything in details, just give an overall reason why you wouldn’t be able to attend the date. However, if you’re still interested in dating the person, always try to propose a different term, as just saying “I’m busy” might be misleading, making your partner feel left out. - Those on the receiving end will feel you are not really interested and/or you are balancing too many potentials.
Just imagine how would it make you feel to invite someone for a date and receive the “I’m busy” answer. It would probably make you feel like they wouldn’t give up any of their time to be with you, right? Well, try to avoid giving that excuse once you are in the other person`s shoes. - Following up with something specific such as, “So how was your son’s baseball game” and/or a humoristic meme to prove you are still interested.
If you’re really busy for that date, don’t just end up the conversation with your excuse. Make sure to at least do a short follow up on a topic you’re both interested in or make a joke that will prevent the mood from going down. But don’t be too obvious, you don’t want to make your partner feel like you have ditched them and now you want to comfort them, like taking a dangerous object away from a kid and giving them squeaky toys right away, just to make them forget about the previous event. You’re not dealing with a kid, yet with an adult – so don’t push it. - Remember that someone that says they are always busy may come off as not having time for dating, a workaholic, lack time management, or will be an expectation of what the future may hold.
Presenting yourself as a person with no time available for dating is a major turn off. Nobody wants to devote their time to potential love partners if they know their partner would not be able to devote some time back. Even if people seem laid off at the beginning of the dating game, still most of them think long term and are more cautious when it comes to a relationship that experiences various limitations, even from the very beginning. So watch out how you present yourself and your priorities, you might actually scare your date away even before you start dating seriously.
Get out of the comfort zone – it’s where the magic happens!
I know it feels much easier to find someone online, have all the important topics of conversation in front of your screen instead of an honest eye to eye conversation, but none of these things will bring true joy to your heart. Keep in mind that whenever you are ready to use the “I’m busy” excuse, make sure to imagine yourself in the other person`s position and understand how that will make him/her feel. A lame excuse can be a cruel way to dump somebody, even though you may not have perceived it that way in your head. You just need a good time management, and in cases when you’re really busy – find a charming way of turning an offer down and suggesting another date in the near future.