“Champions are Made in the Field”
Jennifer Lopez, the Lord of the Rings, has done it again and I’m sure you all know what I’m alluding to. Just like the Spurs, she holds five rings and most definitely has made the playoffs multiple times in the world of dating and relationships. Here’s the thing – that’s nothing to be proud of. Stay with me here because I’m not simply stating this opinion based on my gender, but more in the defense of what actual commitment means. I’ll gladly apply the same critique would apply to a high-profile male celebrity who’s gone through five engagements and just seems to not get it right.
Marriage, especially those that involve children, is still a very relevant and important institution. I don’t mean limiting it to only biological kids and marriage as the young, stepkids or biological, are looking at us as the example. On one extreme side you have couples that are miserable together and continue to live in misery – but the ideals of marriage and commitment matters to them. Then you have cases like JLo, where marriage, and an engagement ring, are treated like quick dopamine hits, and social media highlights, only to be treated like disposable commodities.
The Halo Effect
The tragedy is that we are often blinded by the Halo Effect when it comes to a celebrity, we both expect and excuse more out of them. Halo effect, as defined by Dictionary.com, is the tendency for positive impressions of a person, company, brand or product in one area to positively influence one’s opinion or feelings in other areas. She is not empowered nor is she a hero for quickly jumping from a failed engagement and back in the arms of Ben Affleck. By treating exes like sources of distraction, she is dehumanizing the notion of an engagement while also dehumanizing the rebound ex himself.
Ben Affleck is a wise man, he understands the chances of her finding the love of her life are low and his role is that of a “meantime” while she figures the rest of her life out. She will then head on a gossip show and discuss her fallout, empowerment, and ironically provide dating tips as she has in the past. Keep in mind I am not attacking her as a person, but her actions and how being a celebrity is her chance to broadcast the right message. Yes you can still have the freedom to choose a partner and yes you have the freedom to decide if you want to party ways – but 5 times!!
…it’s like bouncing from job to job
This would be the equivalent of me applying to five companies that are competing for my skills and I end up only lasting less than 90 days at each of them. Yes I have the freedom to leave those jobs if I’m not satisfied, even if selfish reasons, but there are consequences. Those companies will second-guess hiring me back and would even use me as an excuse to talk amongst each other on who to never hire again.
I’ve limited any other references to our San Antonio Spurs because the narrative doesn’t fit – other than the fact that both may end up with a sixth ring one day.
Apply the Following
I really do hope she is able to truly reflect, meditate, and apply her own advice. I’ll conclude by quoting a poster I would stare at in my 10th grad leadership class that said, “Whatever is popular is not always right and whatever is right is not always popular.”