Boredom Killing Me…
It all starts with inspired creativity and the excitement of novelty, and minutes later we are off to the races swiping. Attractive, witty, funny, “too much”, and commonalities capture our eyes as we quickly swipe left and right. To an outsider looking in, we appear as mindless drones moving our fingers on a 7-inch screen while the rest of the world moves around us. The swipes turn into matches and matches turn into conversations, but this is where it gets confusing.
The two approaches to dating apps
For some, dating apps is their hope to meet “the one” and settle down. Unfortunately, there is an alternate school of thought that treats dating apps as a cousin to Instagram and is used to garner as much attention as they can via matches and short conversations. The sad part is that both long-term minded as well as attention-seekers are hard to detect. Those looking for something much more established might be part time messengers as well as those balancing over 10-20 matches at a time. Both have a group of singles that will easily ghost you, regardless how invested they are in finding someone. The biggest difference is that one side leads with hope while the other considers it an afterthought.
Hope, dating, and setting expectations
There is nothing wrong with looking for attention. Maybe you are bouncing back from a bad breakup or simply warming up to what applications such as Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, and others offer. There is, however, something wrong with false advertisement. Never apply for a job you have no intent of showing up to if you’re hired. The same applies to dating and more importantly when it comes to matters of love. Love is an intense feeling that requires emotional vulnerability, authenticity, and a mutual agreement to support each other once a relationship starts – above all love requires hope. This is evident when strangers become brothers and sisters through war, a family member wakes up from a coma, or witnessing a sports comeback. If your reason for using a dating app is to have another mindless reason to occupy your time, “you do you” but quit killing hope. Respect the time, energy, and emotions others are putting into the journey of finding a significant other. Step aside and find others that are also just seeking short conversations, you can easily do this by stating your intent on your profile. Make sure you’ve again confirmed your goal with dating once you’ve scheduled a date – expectation management goes a long way.
The rainbow at the end of the storm
Those that are seeking long term will not be left unscathed as you also owe honesty to a potential suitor. Do not be afraid that the most attractive option will reject you because you want a relationship. Time and hope are not commodities and are very hard to regain once either is lost. Dating can be as unpredictable as weather forecasts; sometimes you’ll experience sunny days while others are full of fog or rain. But even in the fog, you must take steps to get to where you need to be at and hope is that compass.
Bored with dating and/or want to avoid those that are wasting your time? Feel free to contact us and we will provide you with all the information you need to take your dating life to the next level.
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