Why Do Men And Women Cheat?
You’ve been caught cheating, now what? Or you’ve been cheated on, know someone’s cheating. When you think about it, I guarantee you know someone who’s been cheated on or you yourself have been cheated. Why is cheating so common?
Psychologists have been trying to uncover the reasons people cheat for decades, and their research has really proved one thing: there’s no clear answer. The truth is, people cheat for various reasons–revenge, falling out of love, and curiosity. Despite the common belief that cheating is only ever done because of sexual dissatisfaction, a survey by NBCNews found that less than half of cheating men cheated for more sex, and even lesser number cheated for better sex. As startling as these numbers are, perhaps they bring to light a more interesting reason that women and men cheat: to appreciate their partners more–both emotionally and sexually.
The idea that cheating may be done in dating or marriage to produce a happier relationship sounds a little strange, but the logic isn’t so far-fetched. One of the issues concerning dating and marriage is that when you’ve been with someone for awhile, you get used to them. Their stellar qualities that seemed so appealing in the beginning are now being taken for granted, and the initial spark of passion and excitement that comes with being in love has died out and left behind a routine instead. Instead of feeling closer than ever, you feel completely disconnected. The same sort of thought process goes for someone who cheats when they are unsure of their feelings toward their partner. When having an affair–either emotional or sexual–they begin to realize they miss their partner much more than they thought they would, and as a result, feel much more secure and clear in their own feelings.
It’s important to note that when it comes to cheating for appreciation, much of the reasoning here is unconscious. Not many people may wake up and think to themselves, “I’m going to cheat to see if I’ll miss my spouse,” but there’s no other justification for testing the boundaries of an otherwise healthy and happy relationship. It’s not a completely radical idea, either–cheating isn’t the only way people test the bounds of their relationship. For instance, taking a trip alone or “needing space” in order to figure out your feelings is the same sort of logic, along with intentionally getting into arguments to see how well your relationship recovers from emotional strain. The truth is, we all do this–just in different ways.
While cheating is not something that is inherently good, if looked at from an objective point of view, perhaps it is misunderstood. The misconception that cheating is only done out of unhappiness or dissatisfaction sexually and emotionally has been spread around for a long time. Modern society has labeled cheating as something that happens because something is dysfunctional in your relationship. It’s important to realize that cheating isn’t always done out revenge and violence–although it certainly can be–but also as a sort of test. Whether this is right or wrong is more of a moral question that can be answered differently for each individual, but the important thing to understand is that cheating for appreciation does happen–and it’s not as uncommon or wild as you might think.