In a world dominated by digital solutions to all of life’s issues, there are bound to be moments when we feel like connections become impersonal. Think about swiping during online dating to find “the perfect match.” You get me.
It’s obvious then that we (or some of us) would take advantage of these impersonal connections and ghost for different reasons. First off, I completely understand that there are times when ghosting is necessary to protect yourself from potential physical or mental harm.
However, we should delve deeper into the issue and address it as it is. In this article, I will focus on ghosting, or in this case, people that are ghosting. The truth is that ghosting lacks self-accountability and has become a main contributor to modern dating and workforce problems.
What’s the Difference Between Workplace Ghosting and Ghosting During Dating?
The main difference between ghosting a job and a potential partner in the dating world is the associated pain and consequences. The workable.com article “What is employee ghosting” highlights different reasons why employee ghosting happens. It’s easy to see the correlation between this type of ghosting and what happens during dating.
Reasons for Ghosting
One of the reasons why employees ghost is due to a lack of professionalism. Lack of professionalism can connect to a single person who presents themselves as a high-value individual but isn’t acting at the caliber of what they seek. The next reason employee ghosting happens is that employees feel uncomfortable or unsafe discussing their resignation.
I see this as a legitimate reason in the dating environment, thanks to repeated past traumas, which can trigger a fight or flight response. Such responses may cause the ghoster to wonder why they should bother explaining and instead ignore the other person and ultimately disappear.
If you’re thinking of sending a goodbye text, it may be difficult to tell the difference between someone who would react in a volatile way versus someone who will take it in stride. Even so, that doesn’t negate that it’s best to practice. The text can help you make the other person understand why it’s not a fit and remind them that this is all part of the process.
The next reason for ghosting, which I found the most interesting, is that employees don’t properly understand the cost of hiring or replacing them. While corporations may lose time and money during turnover, single people vested in dating can lose significantly more. The idea of finding a special someone may seem like an unreachable dream.
On the other hand, the person who has been ghosted may resent the process and take on a more hesitant and fearful approach to dating. As for the ghoster, they may not be aware of the consequences of their action, or worse yet, and they may not even care.
Most Fortune 500 companies already have systems and processes to quickly post a job, conduct interviews, and select the right candidates. They will not send a 500-word text to the “no show” employee on how hurt and regretful they are for hiring them. In comparison, ghosting in dating deals a blow that can lead to permanent behavioral changes for the recipient.
Nowadays, finding a mentally healthy adult who can effectively communicate their worries seems like the exception instead of the norm. It is normal for a resilient and mentally healthy single adult to become resentful, hesitant, and overall checked out when dating to find a life partner.
The most significant problem with this issue is that the ghoster takes their actions very lightly. They are unaware of what they did or don’t care that they’ve negatively attributed it to the recipient’s dating experience. This behavior has trickled over to the workforce that, in some ways, has always not cared – why should they?
How much mental space would a director of human resources have to create to lament the loss of Jimmy from marketing? Again, we’re focusing on paid, effectively managed, and fairly treated employees.
The truth is that some people abandon ship at the first sign of discomfort. What’s more, they do it even if it would serve them better to steer towards a more responsible and healthy relationship or if they need the job to continue paying their bills.
Questions to Ask
My recommendation to the rampant Caspers worldwide is to practice critical thinking. If you’ve ever ghosted someone at work or during dating, try to start by asking yourself the following four questions:
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- “How will disappearing from my job or potential partnership look to the other side?”
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- “If I owned or managed a small business, how would I feel if an employee I paid and treated well stopped showing up for no reason?”
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- “Do I care if good men/women ghost me?”
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- “Am I finding ways to validate harmful habits that I’ve become comfortable with?”
Ghosting can have significant negative consequences for all parties involved, whether in the workplace or in dating relationships. It is a form of cowardice that shows a lack of respect for others and can cause serious harm to their emotional well-being. Ghosting at work can also harm an individual’s professional reputation and career opportunities, while ghosting during dating can damage one’s chances of finding love and healthy relationships in the future.
We must find better ways of ending relationships that aren’t suitable for us. Open and honest communication is key in any relationship, and it’s never too late to have a difficult conversation. While it may be uncomfortable, it’s always better to be transparent about one’s feelings and intentions than to disappear and leave others wondering what went wrong.
Conclusion
In short, ghosting should be avoided, and individuals should strive to handle breakups and endings responsibly and respectfully. By doing so, we can all work towards creating a better and more harmonious world for ourselves and those around us.
Are you an single employer who has felt the “wrath” of both dating and work-related ghosting? Are you a rampant ghoster that knows they can do better? Comment below and share your stories!