Society now has a peculiar way of looking at fitness and appearances: we celebrate the Dad Bod, the squat has increased in popularity, some proudly declare ourselves to be couch potatoes with memes, instragram has become a gym selfie haven, and the term ‘fat acceptance’ has turned into something resembling a civil rights movement. It pays off to be fit in the dating world.
In today’s climate, it’s all too easy to grow content with eating massive portions of deep fried foods and opting for the escalator at every opportunity but it will be tough to argue against being healthy instead. So if you’re winded after climbing two flights of stairs let’s face it there’s work to be done! You’re physically lazy in the most endearing way and this is your wake up call. It’s the 21st century, and you have no reason to run a mile. Heck, you don’t have to compete in the Olympics to get a date but it’s time to focus on being fit in the dating world.
Sure, we love to hear that it’s okay– even quirky or cute– to avoid physical activity, but we need a reality check. If improved health and a longer lifespan aren’t motivating enough for you (live hard, die young, eat Oreos!), you need to step back and have a look at all the ways that getting in shape will improve your love life. The following is a quick run-down of what you can expect from dating after you have made physical fitness a priority.
1) First, stop staring at physique competitors and reassess your priorities.
If you struggle to carry your groceries in every day, yet you expect to develop the prodigious pectorals of Captain America by the year’s end, you’re out of your mind.
Even the most unfit of us take pleasure in watching fitness transformations. We see TV shows where people drop hundreds of pounds in a year, so we figure, “Hey, if that guy can lose half his body weight, I can become Tarzan in six months.” Wrong-o. If you’re only working out because you think you’ll have the buns of Wonder Woman in three months, you’re setting yourself up for lousy exercise plans and inevitable failure – concentrate on at least taking the first step. Which brings me to…
2) Don’t focus on your appearance…focus on your fitness.
It’s easy to get hung up on improving your physique, but unless you plan on becoming a model or bikini/physique competitor, you’re wasting your time. Resist the urge to use exercise only as a way to ‘look better’, because you’ll likely waste a lot of time without experiencing any real growth. Or, perhaps even worse: you’ll get the look you want, and then you’ll get comfortable and slack off.
When you pursue fitness for the sake of fitness, you’ll reap the benefits. Approach exercise with the idea of managing your stress levels, eliminating anxiety, improving your overall health, and chasing the elusive runner’s high. Fitness is a journey, not a destination. Strive to grow and improve. Avoid simply working out with social media being the motivator, fitness is beyond digital validation.
3) Staying in shape shows that you are healthy and disciplined.
Being fit is one of the best ways to demonstrate your discipline, as well as your physical and psychological health. It stems from our centuries old biological wiring of seeking the strongest genes to pass on to our offsprings and/or at the least be healthy for mating. By working out regularly, you broadcast this message to all of your potential partners:
“I take care of myself! I make my health a priority! I have the discipline to do what needs to be done even if it isn’t easy! I don’t take shortcuts! I know how to make decisions and stick to them!”
Hot, right? Be that person.
4) You are competing for other people’s time, interest, and emotional investment, and getting fit will give you a leg up.
The dating world is one giant representation of the ice cream aisle at your local supermarket. The shelves are packed full of ice cream of every flavor, quirky name, chemical additive, and dairy milk alternative imaginable. With so many other buckets of ice cream– er, people– you have to put in quite a bit of work to prove that you deserve your potential partner’s time more than your competitors.
There are a zillion other people out there who like Netflix and modern art and get tired after walking two miles. If you really want to get their attention, be the person who likes Netflix and art and participates in triathlons. You will be vastly more interesting and diverse person – and vastly more confident!
5) Sick of the same tired old bar, cafe, or coffee shop date? You have a built-in unique date idea, and it does not involve heels or a button down.
If you’ve been to your local cafe on so many dates that the servers have started calling you by your first name, fitness will give you the perfect opportunity to mix things up. Instead of dragging your partner through another round of coffee, you can introduce them to your favorite form of fitness as a way to get to know them. If you’re a runner, you can take them on a leisurely trail run. If you like yoga, you can test out their sense of humor while you struggle through harder poses together. It’s fun, it’s casual, and it forbids torturous, stressful wardrobe choices. Getting sweaty together is a great icebreaker. They will remember you!
6) Make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
For most people, this isn’t too big of an issue, but if you’re prone to ‘going all in’, watch your obsession. Your fitness and nutritional plans will have an impact on your partner’s life, so it’s important to explain what your goals and expectations are from the beginning. If you’re going to follow a raw, vegan, gluten-free diet, they need to know that eating out is going to be a pain in the neck at times. If you’re going to disappear for hours on end to train for a marathon, they need to know your training schedule. Don’t expect your partner to try to squeeze their relationship into the cracks around your fitness routine.
And resist the urge to control your partner’s diet or exercise program! Your health and fitness are your own, and your partner is not obligated to participate in your activities. If it’s important enough that you expect them to accompany you for any fitness endeavor, you need to make that expressly clear. Communication is key.
And lastly…
7) Exercise is an exercise in ‘mutual motivation.’
We have long known that we are more likely to stay motivated when we have a partner in crime– we’re competitive, our partners hold us accountable, and we tend to mimic the people around us. By bringing fitness into your relationship, you will ensure that you and your partner continue to motivate each other and support one another’s growth. This has a ripple effect on your whole relationship, making for a strong, healthy, productive partnership.
Originally published on www.scenergy-dating.com